Crack that Nut.

[mereilin]

This weekend the ballet company opened its 27th season of Nutcracker. My husband has danced in every single performance in each of the preceding 26 seasons and I've danced in most of the performances for the last 17.

Every once in a while I'm a little surprised to realize I'm not an adult beginniner anymore.

True to form, opening weekend was exhausting -- a full day of runthroughs and dress rehearsal on Saturday followed by a mostly sleepless night in an area hotel (a first for us since before the kids were born) and then two full shows on Sunday and an hour's drive back home after which we had to attempt to get two exhausted and wired children off to bed so they can get up for school the next morning.

It's the first year in several that Sarah hasn't been around, but in my mind the loss is more than made up for by the return of one of the company founders in his debut as... Stage Dad! It's such a comfort to me to hear his voice around the theater, hollering out corrections from the house or the wings. Of course not everyone is pleased; I think the younger kids are a little freaked out -- he's been gone such a long time that they don't know him -- and the director seems to be grudgingly tolerating his presence with a peculiar set to her jaw.

I'm really pleased with my casting this year and truly wish that I had more time to spend in class. I'm so proud of the kids.

But really? I'm feeling old and broken. It's dark, and the Christmas spirit is busy visiting other, more organized people. Once again I'm just hoping I'll get through the season wtihout irretreivably alienating someone... possibly my kids. If I can just find a way to hold on to joy... or at least peace... everything will be okay.

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[karasuair.livejournal.com]

I'll give you a hug if you give me one.